emo-ish dayy
POSTED ON: Friday, October 26, 2007 @ 8:17 PM | 0 comments
and so, the truth is revealed... yesterday. like seriously. so, i had to make a very difficult decision for myself. and well, this decision that i made will affect my life. like well... a lot. okayy, maybe it wasn't really expected that things turn out that way but, what to do, it has really happened. and, well, i believe that the situation yesterday was pretty much understanding too. i mean like yarhs. no one seemed to push me around. he seems acceptable with my decision cos i really hope he did. and the good thing is that, he's pretty understanding. so, yes. the decision is in my hands. and well, i had sort of made up my mind. i had already made up my decision and gave an answer. more like an expected answer. i rejected it. you may want to know the 'thing' that i rejected but hey, its the secret of my heart. you people will need a key to unlock it and find out. and i am not telling. never ever. but, come to think of it, did i really make a good decision or maybe a wise one? i did right. i should have confidence in myself. i mean, let's put things this way. my love ones says that well, i made a wise and good decision. but some of the others were unsure. this never gave me the confidence to believe in myself. but, as the wise always says, make your decisions by looking at its consequences not by just following your unstable emotions and i made it based on that. oh dear, i just don't want anyone to be hurt by the decision that i made and i dun want to hurt myself by my own decision as well. gosh, i am trapped by my own feelings. is it really a wise one? i need to weigh the consequences of the decision that i made. especially my academically challenged life. personal, social and love life can come in later... i hope.i am just not prepared to make this kind of decisions. but i have to, because time will never wait for me. is this really part and parcel of being a 13 year old teenager? if it is, then maybe this is just the beginning. dilemma. that's the state that i am in right now. those words keep whispering in my ears. anyway, i've already made my decision though. and i am not going to change it for i feel that it's the best.
to the one involved, i know that you are reading this somehow. and, i want to tell you tht i've made the right decision. it's like a roller coster ride that i get to experience. i just want to forget yesterday and i will try to. let the past be the past alright. we have to move on. thank you for being quite understanding on this thing overall. i really appreciate it like somehow. i am just not ready for this yet. and i dun think that i will ever be ready until i got to achieve all my dreams. can we just play the chasing game?
the feelings in her-
Blogging to express, not to impress.
