Chocolate cake that won't make me fat!
POSTED ON: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 @ 6:18 PM | 0 comments
hello everyone.
Well, im feeling abit hungry now after hibernating in front of my comp watching Proof on YouTube that stars Jake Gyllenhal (sp?) and Gwyneth Paltrow. The movie version's kinda melancholic though. I think I prefer the book better. A bit free to pass judgements here and there you know. (:
Today was really awesome. And I really really mean it. I had the time of life after lit today. Haha. Cos guess what, my friends actually celebrated my birthday way in advance. With pizza's and cake and balloons. Sweet right? Haha. (: Thanks guys. Actually, it was suppose to be a co-celebration with Ily but apparently she went *poof* instead. So, end up I was the one being all surprised and everything. Hahaha. Kinda epic fail lah but oh wells, its the thought that counts. And I sincerely LOVE it.
From the bottom of my heart, to those who celebrated it with me just now, THANK YOU! (: You people truly made my day, each and everyone of you. (: Aww. Haha. You should have seen my reaction just now. So epic. I just kept staring at it and like turning around to check if it's really me. Haha. I wanted a surprise celebration this year, and well I got it. Except the part of it being 1 day early. Hehehe.
So, um yes. First and foremost, to Akhyar, Atikah and Ain. Haha. My clique. Thanks alot you guys. (: Haha. And Atikah can be party planner already. Oh yes, and Fai. Who was so tense just now during lecture I noticed. No wonder lah, haha. Tengah in mission ekhs? Hehe. Oh, and I love the scrapbook that you guys made for me. Its so lovely. And to Syuaib, hehe. Thank you for sponsoring the cake omg (although its the same one that we buy for tiks birthday). I know that its worth a fortune and everything. Gosh. Thank you! (: Last but not the very least, to all those who came just now. Dayana, Siti, Amira, Yuk Hei thanks alot you guys! (:
Okay, Im done with this. Guess what? This is my last post before turning 17 tonight. I wonder how being 17 feels like. Hmm.
Love always
Insyallah boleh.
POSTED ON: Monday, May 30, 2011 @ 4:37 PM | 0 comments
hello everyone.
i didn't go to school today cos i have to attend interview for my mlep scholarship. the interview was okay, i thought. insyallah, kalau ada rezeki dapatlah. (: I had already given my best for it. So let's just pray hard now. haha. missed my peeps at school though. it feels really quiet without them around. (: can't wait to meet up with you guys tomorrow.
dam dee dum. im doing my work now after eating ice cream from Swensens! (: Im one happy girl. Teehee.
enough words said.
POSTED ON: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 @ 9:54 PM | 0 comments
hello.
school was really hectic today. gosh. at least, for the 2nd half of the day, it is. i'm so worn out right now. oh my gosh. dikir and all the excitement after that is totally wearing me out right now. and i have work to do. anyway, don't you think that the above quote is relevant for whatever it is that im facing? i don't know but somehow i found it so apt.
im keeping my heart as cold as it can be so that i won't fall for anymore false pretense from the people around me. and yes, im waiting for the day, still, for someone who is able to prove to me that actions speaks louder than words. cos apparently guess what? im tired of all those empty promises from people. its funny how they can say like this one time and meant the exact opposite the other time. i told myself once that i can never believe malay guys again. or rather, guys in general. well, let's see. unless someone nice and sincere comes along then, things will remain as brittle as it can be right now.
call me, brittle for commitment but that's the exact words that i can describe my feelings right now. brittle for commitment. i don't know who to trust and who to believe. i don't know how much i can trust or believe them either.
let's wait for that one day with me together.
like atikah tells me today, good things will happen to people who wait. so im going to wait, even if it takes me weeks, months or even years.
im waiting for that one person who is able to change my impressions as a whole. really, really.
love always.
Hello & Goodbye
POSTED ON: Monday, May 23, 2011 @ 8:16 PM | 0 comments
hello world.
gosh. today ended off pretty good even though it's a long long day. (: so yeay.
I gave up trying to make people happy & satisfy everyone. I gave up.
Cos I realise that I don't work that way, you know.
If they're my real and true friends, they're love me for who I am. And yes, that includes my flaws and imperfections, my attitudes you know. Kae whatever.
The point of it all is this: I don't want to look into the mirror one day and said 'Hey, I don't know who is this girl anymore.' Why must I live in a world full of false pretense from people? People who aren't sick and tired of giving that fake smile thinking that they don't know it and that it's really sincere enough for the world to see.
I kinda regretted going to tpj. like to be honest. but because i want to pursue malay, i continued instilling faith in self. gosh. the people here... haiz i don't know what to say already. some are really nice and everything but others? only Allah knows. Why must it always be me who reminded myself that i want to pursue malay (the language) and the sole purpose is not to be trapped having to mingle with the malay community 24/7? Its not that im being biased or anything but I need to have bigger social circles than just malays right?
because apparently, this is what it feels like.
Buat salah, tak buat pun salah. Aduhai. Pelbagai ragam manusia.
Okaylah enough ranting
Back to studying.
Bye.
Tanpamu sepinya waktu, merantai hati...
POSTED ON: Sunday, May 22, 2011 @ 5:03 PM | 0 comments
hello
Tanpamu sepinya waktu,
Merantai hati.
So, approx im left with 107 days or so before it all adds up to 1000 days. Everyone's been saying that changes are good you know but why is it, i don't feel comfortable with what im supposedly to be looking forward to? Amaliah, what is wrong with you? Changes are good for you, idiot. Okay fine, maybe it has been me all along facing this while you don't even bother at all. Whatever it is, Im doing it. Im closing this book of mine after 1000 days.
Goodbye.
what i mean, really.
POSTED ON: Friday, May 20, 2011 @ 8:58 PM | 0 comments
love always.
Its so easy just like Monopoly Deal.
POSTED ON: Thursday, May 19, 2011 @ 8:24 PM | 0 comments
hello everyone,
I think the above words are really apt to describe what me, akh and zaf had been talking about at school lately. This thing about yourself. Your identity. Haha. Nopes, I don't mean to imply that we have identity crisis here or something but it's just difficult to explain.
I've been told that the key here is to really learn and master the art of switching personas. No, I don't mean that you are allowed to be a 2-face bitch or something of any kind. Just be professional and well, yourself. Its just the degree of how one's self-expression is depends on the crowd you're in. I suppose for me, with the ones I'm closed with, I really am my true self. Without corrections and yes, imperfect as well. With the people who don't know me, say, my hi-bye friends hmm, then I suppose I don't reveal myself too much. Keep them guessing so they can't read my patterns and well, can't predict what Im going to do next.
Its just like Monopoly Deal. Hahaha. Sorry if I took that as an example though. Haha. Had been playing that during break just now with the usual crowd. Hehe. Anyway, so, you lay down part of you (say, the $ in MD) before laying down your properties. Right? Afterwords, as the game progress, you increase the intensity by revealing your action cards one by one. Lastly, you display your Deal Breaker card coupled with Just Say No as your armour. If only life were that simple... But sadly, nopes. It can't be that dictatable can it?
Persona 1: Maliah/ Nur/Amaliah
My real self (: A closed book really, until you truly get to know me.
Persona 2: Amz/ Liah/ Liaa Amaliah
Haha. This is the persona that I display with my closest friends. Only with them I get to show my gila side and yes, can confide to a certain extent my woes. Basically, they're people that I can sort of trust. So you have it... These people are my closest friends by the way.
Persona 3: Amali (Emily?)/ sometimes Liaa Amaliah
I don't identify myself with this though. Its so not me but sometimes, it could be unleashed during those NEED periods. Can't be helped though. Hmm, probably this is the worst side of me. Oh wells. Im imperfect remember?
I identified with mine. Have you? Unleash your true self, you might be in for a surprise.
Love always.
Apa kata hati?
POSTED ON: Tuesday, May 17, 2011 @ 9:33 AM | 0 comments
Good morning.
I will keep this short. Im done with honey bee's birthday gift. Whee. Emotional seyh when I did the video for him. Haha. I hope he likes it though. Oh and aunty's birthday coming. Might be planning a surprise for her. Hehehe. Ssh.. (:
I think past experiences make me alot stronger and become a better person overall. Some might not have believed my reactions when they know that after all that happen in the past, I can still say hello and mingle with all of those people who hurt me in one way or another without any pain in my heart anymore. Yes, I used to get hurt cos of them but Im a more forgiving person in any sense. I don't like to hold grudges so I would really appreciate if you lay your cards out in the open and tell me what you don't like. So maybe, we can sort it out you know. People expect catfights and everything to come out from me, but instead, I can smile and talk to them as though nothing happened. (: How amazing."Keep the last card to yourself." I know better now. What this sentence means really. Being a geminian myself, he knows that Im capable of expressing my dwi-personalities. (: Haha.
I need answers to my unanswered questions. The problem now is, when. When can I get those answers?
Love always.
It's okay not to be okay.
POSTED ON: Saturday, May 14, 2011 @ 7:53 PM | 0 comments
hello you people.
I've always been intending to update but I don't know, kinda lazy though. Anyway, mood is really crappy today. I've been throwing alot of tantrums but daddy just didn't lose his patience with me. Mum and brother did though. Sorry guys. But, I already made up with them when my mood is better. Okay, I know that I'm kind of old for tantrums but I just have my bad days okay. And today's just one of those days.
Anyway, it feels really difficult to differentiate trust and believe. Must you trust in order to believe? Or can you just believe without trusting? Either way, I just have trust issues with people. Because each time I want to believe, there will always be that doubt that enters which makes me hesitant halfway. And sometimes, some people aren't helping either. Instead, they're making things alot harder for you.
I don't want to be emotionally attached to someone again, for now. At least, if it were to happen, let it be unplanned. Because its truly difficult to endure and go through whatever it is im feeling right now. Whatever it is, I shan't let it bother me any longer. Big girls don't cry, you know?
So, now what? First its that, then now it's this? Can technology quit playing its tricks on me? Whoever you are and wherever you might be, can you just tell me who you really are instead of hiding behind various identities. Don't tell me that the time now ain't right yet. Then, trust me, it never will be. We'll see what's next for now. Shall keep you updated
Love always.
bye bye PI!!
POSTED ON: Thursday, May 5, 2011 @ 6:56 PM | 0 comments
hello everyone.
BYE BYE PI! (: omggg. no more late night sleep cos of it again. ugh. PI was just my worst nightmare lah please. submitted my final draft today. im so relieved. im really so tired now. sien. haha. i think PI brought out the worst in me - to be honest, im really aware that ive been turning crappy to certain people lately. sorry yeahs? had been having alot of setbacks lately and its totally stressing me out.
school today was damn slack because its monday's timetable apparently. me, fai, ily and tiks cannot tahan but keep laughing at the slightest things. Haha. Spasms lah. Oh, me and fai duet for HSM Fabulous. Tapi, she yang semangat. Hehe. Dengan action-action lagi. Cute gitu. And ily was being really cute imitating a certain someone. Heheh. And Syu, well being himself as per usual. Annoyingly fun but irritating. Hahaha. Pro-PAP konon... Thank God you're there during econs class. Else, all of us will just die there. Confirm.
Oh, and the class doesnt really look like a class anymore. Cos alot of people are not here. Like practically half the class. Seriously. So, it looks like a group of students get lost in a tuition centre. Haha. And only 2 guys today. Pathetic or wadd seyhhh...
Anyway, yesterday AD got audition to find new juara. I seriously don't know what to sing lah. Until at the end of the day, I just sing whatever Siti Nurhaliza song that enters my mind. I don't know how I did anyway. Whatever lah, at least I gave my best shot. That's what matters after all right?
Going shopping with aunty tomorrow (: Im excited! Oh oh oh. And tomorrow is TPJ's sports day. I doubt Hawk will win though. Alahhhh...
Love always.
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Chocolate cake that won't make me fat!
POSTED ON: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 @ 6:18 PM | 0 comments
hello everyone.
Well, im feeling abit hungry now after hibernating in front of my comp watching Proof on YouTube that stars Jake Gyllenhal (sp?) and Gwyneth Paltrow. The movie version's kinda melancholic though. I think I prefer the book better. A bit free to pass judgements here and there you know. (:
Today was really awesome. And I really really mean it. I had the time of life after lit today. Haha. Cos guess what, my friends actually celebrated my birthday way in advance. With pizza's and cake and balloons. Sweet right? Haha. (: Thanks guys. Actually, it was suppose to be a co-celebration with Ily but apparently she went *poof* instead. So, end up I was the one being all surprised and everything. Hahaha. Kinda epic fail lah but oh wells, its the thought that counts. And I sincerely LOVE it.
From the bottom of my heart, to those who celebrated it with me just now, THANK YOU! (: You people truly made my day, each and everyone of you. (: Aww. Haha. You should have seen my reaction just now. So epic. I just kept staring at it and like turning around to check if it's really me. Haha. I wanted a surprise celebration this year, and well I got it. Except the part of it being 1 day early. Hehehe.
So, um yes. First and foremost, to Akhyar, Atikah and Ain. Haha. My clique. Thanks alot you guys. (: Haha. And Atikah can be party planner already. Oh yes, and Fai. Who was so tense just now during lecture I noticed. No wonder lah, haha. Tengah in mission ekhs? Hehe. Oh, and I love the scrapbook that you guys made for me. Its so lovely. And to Syuaib, hehe. Thank you for sponsoring the cake omg (although its the same one that we buy for tiks birthday). I know that its worth a fortune and everything. Gosh. Thank you! (: Last but not the very least, to all those who came just now. Dayana, Siti, Amira, Yuk Hei thanks alot you guys! (:
Okay, Im done with this. Guess what? This is my last post before turning 17 tonight. I wonder how being 17 feels like. Hmm.
Love always
Insyallah boleh.
POSTED ON: Monday, May 30, 2011 @ 4:37 PM | 0 comments
hello everyone.
i didn't go to school today cos i have to attend interview for my mlep scholarship. the interview was okay, i thought. insyallah, kalau ada rezeki dapatlah. (: I had already given my best for it. So let's just pray hard now. haha. missed my peeps at school though. it feels really quiet without them around. (: can't wait to meet up with you guys tomorrow.
dam dee dum. im doing my work now after eating ice cream from Swensens! (: Im one happy girl. Teehee.
enough words said.
POSTED ON: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 @ 9:54 PM | 0 comments
hello.
school was really hectic today. gosh. at least, for the 2nd half of the day, it is. i'm so worn out right now. oh my gosh. dikir and all the excitement after that is totally wearing me out right now. and i have work to do. anyway, don't you think that the above quote is relevant for whatever it is that im facing? i don't know but somehow i found it so apt.
im keeping my heart as cold as it can be so that i won't fall for anymore false pretense from the people around me. and yes, im waiting for the day, still, for someone who is able to prove to me that actions speaks louder than words. cos apparently guess what? im tired of all those empty promises from people. its funny how they can say like this one time and meant the exact opposite the other time. i told myself once that i can never believe malay guys again. or rather, guys in general. well, let's see. unless someone nice and sincere comes along then, things will remain as brittle as it can be right now.
call me, brittle for commitment but that's the exact words that i can describe my feelings right now. brittle for commitment. i don't know who to trust and who to believe. i don't know how much i can trust or believe them either.
let's wait for that one day with me together.
like atikah tells me today, good things will happen to people who wait. so im going to wait, even if it takes me weeks, months or even years.
im waiting for that one person who is able to change my impressions as a whole. really, really.
love always.
Hello & Goodbye
POSTED ON: Monday, May 23, 2011 @ 8:16 PM | 0 comments
hello world.
gosh. today ended off pretty good even though it's a long long day. (: so yeay.
I gave up trying to make people happy & satisfy everyone. I gave up.
Cos I realise that I don't work that way, you know.
If they're my real and true friends, they're love me for who I am. And yes, that includes my flaws and imperfections, my attitudes you know. Kae whatever.
The point of it all is this: I don't want to look into the mirror one day and said 'Hey, I don't know who is this girl anymore.' Why must I live in a world full of false pretense from people? People who aren't sick and tired of giving that fake smile thinking that they don't know it and that it's really sincere enough for the world to see.
I kinda regretted going to tpj. like to be honest. but because i want to pursue malay, i continued instilling faith in self. gosh. the people here... haiz i don't know what to say already. some are really nice and everything but others? only Allah knows. Why must it always be me who reminded myself that i want to pursue malay (the language) and the sole purpose is not to be trapped having to mingle with the malay community 24/7? Its not that im being biased or anything but I need to have bigger social circles than just malays right?
because apparently, this is what it feels like.
Buat salah, tak buat pun salah. Aduhai. Pelbagai ragam manusia.
Okaylah enough ranting
Back to studying.
Bye.
Tanpamu sepinya waktu, merantai hati...
POSTED ON: Sunday, May 22, 2011 @ 5:03 PM | 0 comments
hello
Tanpamu sepinya waktu,
Merantai hati.
So, approx im left with 107 days or so before it all adds up to 1000 days. Everyone's been saying that changes are good you know but why is it, i don't feel comfortable with what im supposedly to be looking forward to? Amaliah, what is wrong with you? Changes are good for you, idiot. Okay fine, maybe it has been me all along facing this while you don't even bother at all. Whatever it is, Im doing it. Im closing this book of mine after 1000 days.
Goodbye.
what i mean, really.
POSTED ON: Friday, May 20, 2011 @ 8:58 PM | 0 comments
love always.
Its so easy just like Monopoly Deal.
POSTED ON: Thursday, May 19, 2011 @ 8:24 PM | 0 comments
hello everyone,
I think the above words are really apt to describe what me, akh and zaf had been talking about at school lately. This thing about yourself. Your identity. Haha. Nopes, I don't mean to imply that we have identity crisis here or something but it's just difficult to explain.
I've been told that the key here is to really learn and master the art of switching personas. No, I don't mean that you are allowed to be a 2-face bitch or something of any kind. Just be professional and well, yourself. Its just the degree of how one's self-expression is depends on the crowd you're in. I suppose for me, with the ones I'm closed with, I really am my true self. Without corrections and yes, imperfect as well. With the people who don't know me, say, my hi-bye friends hmm, then I suppose I don't reveal myself too much. Keep them guessing so they can't read my patterns and well, can't predict what Im going to do next.
Its just like Monopoly Deal. Hahaha. Sorry if I took that as an example though. Haha. Had been playing that during break just now with the usual crowd. Hehe. Anyway, so, you lay down part of you (say, the $ in MD) before laying down your properties. Right? Afterwords, as the game progress, you increase the intensity by revealing your action cards one by one. Lastly, you display your Deal Breaker card coupled with Just Say No as your armour. If only life were that simple... But sadly, nopes. It can't be that dictatable can it?
Persona 1: Maliah/ Nur/Amaliah
My real self (: A closed book really, until you truly get to know me.
Persona 2: Amz/ Liah/ Liaa Amaliah
Haha. This is the persona that I display with my closest friends. Only with them I get to show my gila side and yes, can confide to a certain extent my woes. Basically, they're people that I can sort of trust. So you have it... These people are my closest friends by the way.
Persona 3: Amali (Emily?)/ sometimes Liaa Amaliah
I don't identify myself with this though. Its so not me but sometimes, it could be unleashed during those NEED periods. Can't be helped though. Hmm, probably this is the worst side of me. Oh wells. Im imperfect remember?
I identified with mine. Have you? Unleash your true self, you might be in for a surprise.
Love always.
Apa kata hati?
POSTED ON: Tuesday, May 17, 2011 @ 9:33 AM | 0 comments
Good morning.
I will keep this short. Im done with honey bee's birthday gift. Whee. Emotional seyh when I did the video for him. Haha. I hope he likes it though. Oh and aunty's birthday coming. Might be planning a surprise for her. Hehehe. Ssh.. (:
I think past experiences make me alot stronger and become a better person overall. Some might not have believed my reactions when they know that after all that happen in the past, I can still say hello and mingle with all of those people who hurt me in one way or another without any pain in my heart anymore. Yes, I used to get hurt cos of them but Im a more forgiving person in any sense. I don't like to hold grudges so I would really appreciate if you lay your cards out in the open and tell me what you don't like. So maybe, we can sort it out you know. People expect catfights and everything to come out from me, but instead, I can smile and talk to them as though nothing happened. (: How amazing."Keep the last card to yourself." I know better now. What this sentence means really. Being a geminian myself, he knows that Im capable of expressing my dwi-personalities. (: Haha.
I need answers to my unanswered questions. The problem now is, when. When can I get those answers?
Love always.
It's okay not to be okay.
POSTED ON: Saturday, May 14, 2011 @ 7:53 PM | 0 comments
hello you people.
I've always been intending to update but I don't know, kinda lazy though. Anyway, mood is really crappy today. I've been throwing alot of tantrums but daddy just didn't lose his patience with me. Mum and brother did though. Sorry guys. But, I already made up with them when my mood is better. Okay, I know that I'm kind of old for tantrums but I just have my bad days okay. And today's just one of those days.
Anyway, it feels really difficult to differentiate trust and believe. Must you trust in order to believe? Or can you just believe without trusting? Either way, I just have trust issues with people. Because each time I want to believe, there will always be that doubt that enters which makes me hesitant halfway. And sometimes, some people aren't helping either. Instead, they're making things alot harder for you.
I don't want to be emotionally attached to someone again, for now. At least, if it were to happen, let it be unplanned. Because its truly difficult to endure and go through whatever it is im feeling right now. Whatever it is, I shan't let it bother me any longer. Big girls don't cry, you know?
So, now what? First its that, then now it's this? Can technology quit playing its tricks on me? Whoever you are and wherever you might be, can you just tell me who you really are instead of hiding behind various identities. Don't tell me that the time now ain't right yet. Then, trust me, it never will be. We'll see what's next for now. Shall keep you updated
Love always.
bye bye PI!!
POSTED ON: Thursday, May 5, 2011 @ 6:56 PM | 0 comments
hello everyone.
BYE BYE PI! (: omggg. no more late night sleep cos of it again. ugh. PI was just my worst nightmare lah please. submitted my final draft today. im so relieved. im really so tired now. sien. haha. i think PI brought out the worst in me - to be honest, im really aware that ive been turning crappy to certain people lately. sorry yeahs? had been having alot of setbacks lately and its totally stressing me out.
school today was damn slack because its monday's timetable apparently. me, fai, ily and tiks cannot tahan but keep laughing at the slightest things. Haha. Spasms lah. Oh, me and fai duet for HSM Fabulous. Tapi, she yang semangat. Hehe. Dengan action-action lagi. Cute gitu. And ily was being really cute imitating a certain someone. Heheh. And Syu, well being himself as per usual. Annoyingly fun but irritating. Hahaha. Pro-PAP konon... Thank God you're there during econs class. Else, all of us will just die there. Confirm.
Oh, and the class doesnt really look like a class anymore. Cos alot of people are not here. Like practically half the class. Seriously. So, it looks like a group of students get lost in a tuition centre. Haha. And only 2 guys today. Pathetic or wadd seyhhh...
Anyway, yesterday AD got audition to find new juara. I seriously don't know what to sing lah. Until at the end of the day, I just sing whatever Siti Nurhaliza song that enters my mind. I don't know how I did anyway. Whatever lah, at least I gave my best shot. That's what matters after all right?
Going shopping with aunty tomorrow (: Im excited! Oh oh oh. And tomorrow is TPJ's sports day. I doubt Hawk will win though. Alahhhh...
Love always.
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