Dilemma.

POSTED ON: Sunday, January 25, 2009 @ 2:26 PM | 0 comments

At times, i can be paranoid. Things that happen in the past made me self-conscious of practically everything. Of the people around me. Of myself. Of the reactions that i got from people.

Life's been pretty meaningful for me lately. Im able to move on from everything. I believe that it's a right step that i made though cos im much happier now. i can vaguely remembered the time when i was at the weakest and lowest point in my life where i just felt that everything is crumbling down at me. i dont think that i've succeeded at that time. i was stupid, i chose to trust the wrong person. im practically naive at that time. but now, given the chance that i had, im able to hit the RESET button of my life.

i want to appreciate the people around me better. i want them to know that i love them as much as they love me and that there's no words that could describe that part any better. be it my family, my besties, my love one, my friends, each and everyone of then had a special place in my heart now. really :D

being back to basic for the 5 days reminds me of where i stand in life and how i depended on each and everyone of them for practically something. i didnt realise how much they really care for me. how each and everyone of them are very important.

but i knew better now. i will cherish what i have. and i couldnt bear the thought of losing anyone close to me. i couldnt put myself in a place where i have to imagine going through life everyday without those people who never failed to make my day. those who see me smile, those who wipe my tears away and definitely those who lend me their shoulders and ears to share everything. im thankful to have you.

with that vague remembrance of that past history, im scared to know what lies in front of me. i dont know if im strong enough if i were to lose it again. but, giving myself a chance, i dont know.why am i tht naive in the past? why cant i define and know what's sweetalking? am i too blind?

enough said. im afraid. really afraid.
i need to give myself a chance.

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Liaa Amaliah