baby bear
POSTED ON: Tuesday, December 21, 2010 @ 10:08 AM | 0 comments
hello world.its been a few days since a proper update yeah? i just have a feeling that something's going to be harder and test my strength to its limits soon. mum updated me on the upcoming things and i don't know if i should anticipate it or not. because with the coming of certain things, life's going to be pretty difficult for me. but im confident that we can pull through this together, as a family. right?
so, while everyone's going away or returning home, ive been on my own alot these days. and its pretty amazing actually, that little little things now can trigger me to tears. emotional outbreaks. is that what you call it? yeah. i have that alot these days. so, my life is actually very haywired right now.
but somehow, i feel blessed that amidst it all, i found my inner strength and solitude. i pushed myself nearer to God whom i felt was my very best listener. i learned to seek comfort in Him because I know that He will never dissapoint me. While people asked me to share or speak my minds out, I can't. Because, honestly, I don't know how to open up to people anymore.
I feel like a different amaliah now. i don't know. i get moody often and i cry often. something that is so unlike me. a friend once told me that i can't continue to keep putting on a strong facade in front of people when im fully aware that my life is like a jigsaw puzzle mess. only that , i don't know how to put the pieces back together. because, if continue doing that, there will be a point in time where i can no longer take it and collapse. that's when it will really hit me hard, i suppose. so, i must learn to release my emotions.
which i am still learning how to. and the best methods that work so far was by crying and crying and crying and pray to God to seek comfort in him. But tears are my forte i guess. Because even though I cried alot, I will never run out of tears. im not in good shape, if you ever get a glimpse of me. really.
this sucks. i should stop brooding. get a grip lah, amaliah. PLEASE.
with loves.
Blogging to express, not to impress.
