Rindu mereka yang dekat tapi jauh.
POSTED ON: Thursday, December 1, 2011 @ 9:37 PM | 0 comments
Hello world.
One of the few quotes that I read today - 'If you can feel me push away, that means I'm already getting too attached to you. Please hold on tighter.' It's how I feel most of the time. Anyways, Im back from my Indonesia trip. Still pretty tired from all that travelling but I feel kinda great. A lot more tanned, i suppose. But I guess, the trip is really a refreshing one. Because, it makes me appreciate all the small things in life. Things that I always overlooked due to my business and hectic schedule. And yes, I realised that beauty can indeed come from the smallest and simplest things in life.
Have uploaded those Indonesia pictures already - 4 albums, I think. Tak banyak sangatlah but I guess, each of the pictures have their very own meaning. So, that's all that matters isn't it? I was re-reading my group's sajak from the MLEP trip and I realised how melancholic I am right now. Haha. But I guess, it's really good. I love my group. It feels great to get along with everyone and have a change of environment and perspectives once in a while. Change is good, you know? Hehehe.
Anyways, below is the sajak. Enjoy yeap?
Mencari Kau
Aku datang mencarimu
Kau tersirat seribu kisah
Di atas tanah dewa dewi
Hikayat Rama dan Sinta menyimpul makna
Di tanah penuh sejarah
Aku menimba pengalaman berharga
Pengalaman yang payah diungkapkan dengan kata-kata
Akan aku terus semat di dalam jiwa
Dari bandar ke desa
Aku meneroka bahasa dan budaya
Betapa indahnya bahasa sastera
Semakin hari semakin cinta
Karenah teman-teman di SMK
Di sebalik keindahan yang ku rasa
Tersirat cabaran yang menduga
Kedua-dua jiwa dan raga
Sambutan meriah penuh budaya
Dengan sungguhnya daripada SMA
Seronok berpantun sesama kita
Satu lagi kemahiran yang ditimba
Istana raja kita kunjungi
Tempat bersemayam simbol negara
Sultan kesepuluh menarik perhatian
Kediaman peribadi menjadi tarikan
Disebalik pemandangan indah Parangtritis
Tersirat kepahitan kehidupan
Kau muncul lagi memberi kesedaran
Apakah kami terlalu alpa sehingga terlupa mensyukuri segala nikmatnya?
Wanita tua yang tak berdaya, mengharap ihsan dengan mengutip sampah
Hatiku sebak dan merintih pilu, kerana tak berdaya aku membantu
Memandangkan diriku yang tidak berkuasa
Hanya dapat mendoakan keselamatannya
Apa yang aku cari?
Aku sanggup merentasi lautan Samudera untuk mencari kau
Kerana kau, ilmu
I really don't know how you can still be so strong while facing with so many difficulties in life. If it's me, I would have cried or at least, start blaming someone or something - anything for whatever that has happened. But yet, you can still keep your cool and enjoy this whole trip. I guess, only God knows how much you fear and worry separating from whatever problems that you might be having. I am truly amazed by the strength and composure in you. Even when I was complaining to you over trivial things and PMS like crazy during the bus trips, you were still ever so patient and understanding. Trying to sort out my messed up mind with your logic. I was never a girl that rational but I suppose your advice made me realise how thankful I should be for the things in life instead of complaining for trivial things like this. Thank you for opening my eyes and making me see, how I sometimes forget about the good things in life after being clouded with so many of the not-so-happy ones. I am really blessed to have a great friend and listening ear like you who listens without judges and is ever so patient with my crazy antics. I hope God will continue to bless my life with more people who are like you in future. Amin. Because, you open my eyes to the little things that I used to take for granted on. I am thankful that I have a friend like you who is able to point to me what is right and what is wrong so that I can continue to stay on track again.
With whatever that has been happening in your life lately, I really hope that they will get better. I will always keep you in my prayers, hoping that Allah will never fail to light up your life with happiness - afterall, you do deserve that for a change and that Allah will continue give you strength to help you face the perilous and challenging days ahead. Insyallah, things will get better. You are always in our prayers, dear friend. So, continue being strong. Supergirl right? (:
Anyways, was sharing with mum the scary-traumatic-crazy phone call that happened at Yogyakarta. Actually, to be really honest I was kind of kesian with you. I mean really, no one wants to go near you if they had a choice to. Not even your schoolmates. I wonder why, really I do. In any case, I didn't even get to hear your side of the story - the one that you said you were going to tell when the time is right. I suppose, the time isn't even right then that's why I didn't get to really hear it. Anyways, I guess, the whole, 'I want to be friends with you' thing isn't wrong. But your upfront and awkward approach made me and her scared. Memanglah tak salah untuk berkawan. Kan bak kata pepatah, 'Berkawan biar seribu, bercinta biar satu...' Tapi, your approach made me and her feel really scared. I know your intentions are nice and sincere but it's unacceptable. At least not to me. Lagipun, kan tak manis kalau dipandang orang? I don't want nanti tak pasal-pasal, timbul fitnah lah pula.
So I guess, I'm sorry to have to decline all the offers. It's just that I am not like them - who are used to all these kind of things. And to me, wherever I go, nama baik ibu and ayah as well as keluarga is my top priority. Mesti nak jaga setiap masa. Lagipun, tak mahulah jadi macam certain people yang teruk kena sindir dengan cikgu. Malulah.
Oh wells. Aside from that, heard from Siti that a certain someone had been pursuing a certain girl at the campus. Hmm, it seems that some relationships are really indeed on the rocks these days. Anyways, orang tu masih tak sedar-sedar lagi ke? Dah ada girlfriend pun masih nak menggatal lagi ke? Tak serik-serik lagi. Haiz, I thought you were a changed person. Ingatkan, dah buang perangai lama yang suka menggatal tu. Tapi, maybe not. Biasalah tu kan, dah jelak dengan dia dah nak buat perangai lah tu. Tak habis-habis dengan perangai Playboy-tak-menjadi you tu. Lepas tu, stop it seyh. Nak step baik konon depan aku. Buatlah muka selamba yang you fikir baik sangat tu. Eehs. Thank god, that it's really long over between us. Hmm, then again, mummy once says, 'Boys are like toys. It's okay, Mum says that I need to be nice and donate my toys to the less fortunate once they get old.'
I wonder how she could have fallen for you and continue from where I've left and yet still remain ever so faithful when clearly, you're not doing the same to her.How unfair. If 1 lelaki melayu macam you remain forever like this, I guess right, sampai bila-bila pun I tak akan fall in love dengan lelaki melayu. Nope, at least not now or ever again. Eehs, geram betul seyh bila dapat tahu yang you memperlakukan perempuan sesuka hati you. We are not toys okay?
Someone needs to teach you a lesson. Just you wait and see.
Love always.
Blogging to express, not to impress.
