i want it all!
POSTED ON: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 @ 4:57 PM | 0 comments
hello loves.currently at infocomm now. there's chem formative test tomorrow. im somewhat prepared. haha. still stress. you know me. :)
doing music video for infocomm! we're doing 'I Want It All' from HSM 3! haha. imagine all the drama stuff. lots of dancing. and yes, singing. i wonder how we'll manage. but can lah. keep my fingers crossed. i cant wait to see myself in action!
Hady Mirza's birthday today! :D hehes. blame my excitedness. lots of people's birthday's are in January. Siti Nurhaliza, Shafura are some of them. Ain's tomorrow. :) I want ask mum if i could go to her chalet tomorrow. The weather seems cloudy, i doubt that she'll allow me. Hmph. Nevermind though, I'll try.
there's no school on friday. celebrating the achievements of TKGians. i want go Library cos im deprived of reading materials. haishh. i just realised that im turning geeky. and nerdy. wth. oh wells, on the brighter side, i want get my desired L1R5. pinky please.
im starting to talk crap. geez, i better end.
Dilemma.
POSTED ON: Sunday, January 25, 2009 @ 2:26 PM | 0 comments
At times, i can be paranoid. Things that happen in the past made me self-conscious of practically everything. Of the people around me. Of myself. Of the reactions that i got from people.Life's been pretty meaningful for me lately. Im able to move on from everything. I believe that it's a right step that i made though cos im much happier now. i can vaguely remembered the time when i was at the weakest and lowest point in my life where i just felt that everything is crumbling down at me. i dont think that i've succeeded at that time. i was stupid, i chose to trust the wrong person. im practically naive at that time. but now, given the chance that i had, im able to hit the RESET button of my life.
i want to appreciate the people around me better. i want them to know that i love them as much as they love me and that there's no words that could describe that part any better. be it my family, my besties, my love one, my friends, each and everyone of then had a special place in my heart now. really :D
being back to basic for the 5 days reminds me of where i stand in life and how i depended on each and everyone of them for practically something. i didnt realise how much they really care for me. how each and everyone of them are very important.
but i knew better now. i will cherish what i have. and i couldnt bear the thought of losing anyone close to me. i couldnt put myself in a place where i have to imagine going through life everyday without those people who never failed to make my day. those who see me smile, those who wipe my tears away and definitely those who lend me their shoulders and ears to share everything. im thankful to have you.
with that vague remembrance of that past history, im scared to know what lies in front of me. i dont know if im strong enough if i were to lose it again. but, giving myself a chance, i dont know.why am i tht naive in the past? why cant i define and know what's sweetalking? am i too blind?
enough said. im afraid. really afraid.
i need to give myself a chance.
OBS 19 Jan to 23 Jan ; Sui Sen 09
POSTED ON: Saturday, January 24, 2009 @ 11:10 AM | 0 comments
hey everyone.im back from a hecticly fun week at OBS. mixed emotions at the start of it though cos i was unsure, don't know what to expect and were excited at the same time. at the end of those 5 days, i feel so accomplished, tired yet SAD (i can't believe i'll be sad) to leave OBS.
i remembered the week before i embark on my OBS journey, i told myself this. i was having unstable emotions fearing for the worst in everything. "OMG. Can i do this? What if I cry? What if I fall down? What if i can't get use to everything?" Yup, there's a lot of what if's in my mind. I keep pondering the questions, will i be able to speed-learn kayaking? , will i be able to rock climb?, am i going to face my fears and do jetty jump?
but as the days progressed, with my peers support, i slowly get used to everything around me. yes, there's this part of me that felt lost cos i have no family there but i continously remind myself that my family wouldnt want me to be sad or unhappy. in fact, its not that i lost a family but instead i have a new family - my friends who were always there to care for me.
Cooking outdoors was really interesting. it doesnt really matter whether the food cooked is tasteless or half-burned but what matters most is that we worked together to prepare it. and what i dont really like is to clean the mess tins. AHH! had seyyhs. must get rid of the soot.
pitching the tent was okay. not too easy, not too hard. i believe that working together will really help us to pull through. go Sui Sen! i loveee you. <3
rock climbing, the day that i was waiting for. it was 12m high. i had aimed for 5m but i managed to push myself further. nope, not until the top but up to 8m. i thought that i would never made it past 3m but you never know. felt really accomplished. yes. =)it would never be possible without my peers cheering for me.
kayaking. hahaha. speechless. dont bother asking how was it. was super seasick the whole time we kayaked to our campsite. ate oranges, doesnt work. smell oranges, much more worst. drink water, yuck. was really weak and dehydrated. ask my friends. they know. haha. suddenly, i felt so useless to my partner. i couldnt really help her much that day. everything was turning around and around. everything was moving. God, help me! i felt alone too. Pasir Ris, aka my home was just the opposite side of our campsite. imagine my feelings. everyone was being nice to me. and they tried to cheer me up. just like what family always do. as for me, i also know that some people are really different from what i had in mind, what i picture them to be. they were really, really nice people. :D really.
jetty jump. the time where i face both my fears of height and water. i was at the edge of the plank wondering what im doing. everyone was encouraging one another and myself and here i am pondering my feelings. my heart skipped many beats. i was considering whether should i jump or not but alas, i conquered everything and jumped in. that was the best highlight of the trip. ever!
it would have never been possible without my trainer, Pei Lee aka Pei Pei. She was being nice and concern when i told her i was seasick and asked for panadol. she helped me find a new ME, the one that i felt is much, much better. and to Sui Sen, my watch, im so thankful to all of you for creating those enchanting memories. may our bonds and friendship lasts. we've been through lots of ups and downs together. make it last.
we were asked to ponder, 'how many diamonds have we brought back?' its a teary goodbye for most of us, including me. i was sad yet excited to go home. and to the other instructors who were concerned when i was seasick like Faisal and Din, thank you so much! i loveee you people.
As for the other Sui Sen: Atikah, Yi Ting, Lin Hui, Sathrin, Hanisa, Rachel, Aqilah, Faizah, Sheryl, Ten, Andria, Tessa, Victoria and Samantha, thanks for everything. you people are the awesome-est. And for the others who lend their ears and shoulders when everything felt so down, thanks loads. Happy Belated Bdae to Paige and Faizah! <33
like Pei Pei ever told us, 'you cannot control the wind but you can control the sail...' awww. sadness.
unstable emotions now. hot tears. blueks.
BYE.
OBS is just the beginning. :) there's more to come.
Holiday Picture
POSTED ON: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 @ 3:20 PM | 0 comments
Okayy, i've finally posted the HOLIDAY 2008 Pictures! Go, view it!!aloha, 2009! sayonara 2008!
POSTED ON: Thursday, January 1, 2009 @ 4:24 PM | 0 comments
alriteee!! say 'ALOHA' to 2009 and 'SAYONARA' to 2008!!yikess!! butterflies in my stomach now. ahh! its always the same situation thinking about the first day of school tomorrow. who my new classmates are, who are my new FMs, the new subjects (yikess!! add maths?), the new schedule to adapt to (erm, assembly is on even wk thursday now and there's no more going home at 12 on fridays). oh wells. i soooo... don't feel at ease.
hopefully, everything will turn out alright. im nervous, ecstatic, excited, basically everything all round up to one. i just cant believe that im already sec 3 now. yup. today's day 1 of my sec 3 life. and tomorrow would be the official day, day 2! new challenges, new visions, new goals to focus on. scaryyy!! and yes, not to forget, new friendships. find new friends but old friends must still be treasured. hopefully, the friendships fostered before still could be maintained. =)) my clique's the best! right girls? no more music. no more art. things seems so different! :D
well, hmm. i guess its still not too late for me to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! may the year be a much peaceful, less straining and fun and well of course, enjoyable for us! and what's a new year without those resolutions. the one that you made and you hope to keep for at least, the end of the year.
as for me, i hope that life would be as fun as now, much more peaceful and more meaningful. and yes, there are certain personal resolutions that i shant reveal here. but basically, what i wrote here is part of it! :) i hope that my family and dear friends are blessed with success and health and happiness too. lastly, to dearest Aleem who would be taking PSLE this year, be focus!! i will always pray the best for you. hehe.
okaylah, i guess i better end now. ermm, expect few updates from me now eyyhs. school's starting tomorrow and that means that i have to slowly start my engine!
ciaozz! with loves.
Blogging to express, not to impress.
