Dua persimpangan.
POSTED ON: Monday, May 24, 2010 @ 6:42 AM | 0 comments
Hello.Hmm. I think that it is time for me to make my decisions now and prioritise. I mean, true enough, they didn't say anything but I knew that they were hoping that I could get what they're trying to say. Everyone keeps saying that I am capable of better rather than my mediocre results now. Though, some condemn but I was suppose to just keep up a brave front and tell them that I'm going to prove them wrong later on. And proving itself isn't easy. What more, to keep a brave front and stop myself from crying and crumbling. Cos all they do is just keep saying it blatantly in front of my face. But, they don't know how it has actually hurt me. I wonder why it seems really hard to keep on pleasing everybody. I don't know what to do anymore except to seek comfort in God.
I know very well the 2 choices that are laid in front of my eyes now. 2 choices. It's either my future or my life. Both are important to me and the people in each of my 2 choices matter in my life the most. But then, I am only allowed to choose one. And choosing one option means putting the other up on hold until my future is secured. Oh, god. I don't know. But then again, I do know the consequences of my choices and I have to make the correct choice. I am willing to put my life on hold if it is what it takes to secure a better future. Because life means enjoyment now and future means enjoyment later.
However so, I am aware of whom that would get affected by it. I am sorry. I didn't mean it to happen but at times, in life i just have to make stupid decisions like this. I hate to live as a troubled person which is why I am getting this whole thing over and done with so I can just continue with my days as per normal. I know that it would not be easy but hey, no one ever said that it will be easy. I know that you would probably question me someday and I know that i have no other reasons to give you. I hope you would understand and perhaps, this would be for the best. Right?
I can't even explain myself anymore and I don't think that I will give more explanation. I hope that with this decision that I made, I would be able to be a better person as a whole. I will continue living my days and working towards my goals. I can do it.
Dear god,
Please give me your strength and love to help me overcome my days which are clouded by my own confused feelings. If its the best for me, do make it happen but if it isn't, please show me to the right path. Sebab I tahu, keredhaan ibu bapa terletak pada keredhaan mu. Please help me.
Never let the fear of striking out keeps you from playing the game, amz.
With loves.
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