When I'm scared to believe that it will be okay.
POSTED ON: Friday, September 9, 2011 @ 9:23 AM | 0 comments
I was reading some of my old posts. Didn't realise that I have been so faithful and ever so loyal to this blog since I was in secondary 1. Haha. I grew up here. From all of those immature posts, I think I grew up to be someone who can convey what I feel aptly and better now. Haha. How fast time flies. From 13 years old where everything revolves around school and school, now that I'm 17, I realised that there are many things in life that my life is resolved in right now. People especially. Yes, them. My life revolves around them now.
There's so many things in my mind right now. Actually, since yesterday. Thank you for hearing me out and telling me not to worry and that things will be okay. Although honestly, I don't know if it will ever be. The main concern in my mind right now is Daddy. I hope that all is okay with him. I kind of dread Monday to come because I don't know what to expect. I just hope that God continue to give me that strength to face all of this with my family again. This emotional burden is too much for me to bear it all alone. Insyallah, daddy will be alright. I need to hope. Cos like mum says, if something happens to daddy, the whole family is handicapped.. Beneath my smile and everything, trust me, the emotions are killing me.
Each time I tell you that I don't have that strength, each time you will tell me that I pulled through so many things in my life. Especially last year. I was able to do it so why can't I do it again right now? Truth is, I am scared. Everyone expects alot of me - to do well in my studies, to be a successful person in life, to reach my goals and dreams and to help pull my family together in times of crisis like this. So many expectations for this one girl. Will I be able to do it?
Love always.
Blogging to express, not to impress.
